The past few weeks

I know I already posted today, but I am behind and this needs to be done in separate parts.

I haven't told you about 3.5.11 yet and will get to that soon, but I need to speak of the past few couple of weeks. 
After accepting Jesus into my life on of the gals said, in a joking manner, "it gets harder."  We laughed but I knew she was serious.  It was true.  I feel like my life has become so much harder in many ways.  Harder doesn't mean bad it just means more difficult.  I think it is because I see things more clearly and differently.  I feel overwhelmed by a few things and scared about my future.  I'd like to say I feel like the walls are crashing down around me (which they are) but I don't feel that feeling of despair.  I know we will get through it- how by the Grace of God and some real soul searching.  (winning the lottery would help, but I can't rely on that. LOL) 
I have found myself looking at a lot of things differently.  I schedule 30 or so people for phone coverage.  This also includes approving time off for a variety of reasons.  It is very easy to be distrusting in what I do because I need to make sure the business needs are met.  Some people tend to lie for time off or needing to leave early.  Some call in sick repeatedly when you catch them in a lie.  80/20 rule - this is 20% of the people not 80% but that 20% really makes it hard for the other 80%.  I also need to realize these are people just like me.  People with families, kids, church, other commitments.  It is not all about work and the business needs.  How would I want to be treated?  How can I act Christ like in what I do?  Keeping this in mind helps me manage the staff and what I do on a daily basis.  I also let my co-workers know that I realize they are human and have many obligation.  As much as I need to schedule according to business needs, I understand that they may have a sick child or a husband that is in the hospital.  They have a grand daughter that is going to be confirmed and don't want to miss it.  In addition to staffing phones for our business, I need to ensure my staff knows that I support them and consider what is important to them.  (I may not find something they are doing important, but to each person it is all relative..it is important to them and I must respect that.)  A couple of people were recently terminated. Both terminations were justified and needed.  I was relieved, but also felt the need to pray for both these individuals.  One of them lives her life on a path that I would never want to be on.  I don't know her relationship with the Lord or if she has one.  She really needed prayers.  I hope the closing of that door will lead her to one she needs at this time.  I am worried she won't even notice the door she probably needs most.  The other gentleman I know has a relationship with God.  I know, in speaking with him, that he hasn't always made the best choices, but he was working on making better ones.  He called me the next day to ask about some questions regarding his termination.  He was very upset and I told him that I would pray for him, that Jesus died for him and it would be okay.  I could hear him cry and he said thank you so much, I appreciate that.  I have continued to pray for both of these people. 

The one act that I couldn't believe, that I had such a hard time saying....the act of someone (Jesus) doing something (sacrificed on the cross) for someone else (me) just because with no expectations or requirements was actually one of the easiest things to do.  I am not saying it was easy for Jesus, not at all.  What I am saying is that doing something for another person because you can, not expecting anything in return and maybe without that person's knowledge is one of the easiest things we can do for someone.  To behave Christ like in what we do is uplifting, empowering and freeing.  I can feel him work through me everyday.  We are all destined to be great and to do something great.  I am destined to do something amazing!  I am not quite sure what that is, but what a thrill when it all comes together and I realize what that is. :)

I have one question that I need some help with.  I thought becoming closer to God would help in my relationships with people and it has with some.  With others I feel like they are moving farther away or I am realizing how much they are at the other end of the spectrum from me.  Is this possible?  Is this a bad thing?  Sorry for being so vague.