I had quite the surprise yesterday but the process to get there actually started a few months ago. This blog may sound odd because I will be leaving out specific details however the point I am trying to convey should be quite clear.
As Christians, we want and try to be Christ like in our behaviors. Christ works through us to touch the lives of others. There are days when we aren't quite sure if we are on the path he has chosen for us, wondering if we are going the direction we are supposed to. Feeling unsure of where we are headed until Christ works through one person. It only takes the actions of that one person to act selfless, just wanting to help out a friend. That one action perpetuates a series of other actions (by other people) that ultimately lead to this "one great event." The person on the receiving end of this action is taken back that one person acts completely selfless. "Who was the first person to do something for another person with no expectation of anything in return?" Jesus died on the cross for me and for you! God gave his only son so that we may live. This "oringinal" act of kindness so to speak of...
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Monday, October 10, 2011
This is a bit random but I needed the reminder.
Several months ago when I was questioning if God was speaking to me or guiding me, I received His message. I was in the drive through at McDonalds because we didn't have time to make breakfast at home. (McKenna was hungry) I barely had any money on me let alone spending what I did have for fast food. I pulled up to pay and the guy said, "it's your lucky day.". The person before you paid for your meal.". Of course I looked up, said thank you and held back the tears. I then gave the employee $1 and asked him to please put it towards the person behind me.
I had a hard time not crying in front of McKenna but it reminded me to never question or give up faith! How Amazing He is! I am so thankful to have a relationship with Christ. He always knows what we need and when we need it!
Have a blessed day.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
3.6.11 Part 2
When we got to the room, we talked more about the conversation I had over lunch and why this was so difficult. We talked through it and she asked about certain things that I believed in. It all came down to letting go, not giving in, but letting go of the control I wanted to have and believing that Christ died on the Cross for ME! (and for YOU) This sounds like it was easy, but it was (up to then) the hardest thing I had done. There was a lot of crying and this took the course of 1-2 hours. After lots of crying and praying, I felt amazing, scared, excited, energized, terrified and free. Not to sound so cliche, I wanted to 'yell from the roof top' that I believed in Christ and allowed him in.
We went to the evening session and I sat there bubbling over on the inside but very reserved on the outside. It was both harder and easier to focus on what we were studying. Finally when the evening was over, Melanie looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. She hadn't know what I 'decided.' I did tell her about the day and again, the tears were streaming down our faces. I was so nervous and excited. There were so many people that God worked through to get me to this special place in my life. God put Melanie right next to me that day to really steer me in the direction I needed to face what I had been avoiding. Unbeknown to me God had put me right next to Melanie for reasons I had no knowledge of. She was also struggling with a direction she wasn't sure she wanted to go. God worked through me to confirm to her what she needed to do too. Again, I know he puts us exactly where we need to be when we need to be there....he put those people in our lives exactly when we need them....but each and every time I am amazed by these miracles.
I am a very self conscious person and have self esteem issues. I needed to say this so you can understand the next 'thing' that absolutely blew me away. I went to sleep that night and all I could hear a l l
n i g h t l o n g was the following song......"Girl your amazing, just the way you are..." I am not sure if you are familiar with the song, but it is by Bruno Marz and I have attached the words:
Just The Way You Are Lyrics
Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)
Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me (okay this isn't really the vs that stood out)Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah
This was my confirmation (and became my personal 'theme' song) that everything was going to be fine and this was all real. I finally 'got it.' HALLELUJAH!
We went to the evening session and I sat there bubbling over on the inside but very reserved on the outside. It was both harder and easier to focus on what we were studying. Finally when the evening was over, Melanie looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. She hadn't know what I 'decided.' I did tell her about the day and again, the tears were streaming down our faces. I was so nervous and excited. There were so many people that God worked through to get me to this special place in my life. God put Melanie right next to me that day to really steer me in the direction I needed to face what I had been avoiding. Unbeknown to me God had put me right next to Melanie for reasons I had no knowledge of. She was also struggling with a direction she wasn't sure she wanted to go. God worked through me to confirm to her what she needed to do too. Again, I know he puts us exactly where we need to be when we need to be there....he put those people in our lives exactly when we need them....but each and every time I am amazed by these miracles.
I am a very self conscious person and have self esteem issues. I needed to say this so you can understand the next 'thing' that absolutely blew me away. I went to sleep that night and all I could hear a l l
n i g h t l o n g was the following song......"Girl your amazing, just the way you are..." I am not sure if you are familiar with the song, but it is by Bruno Marz and I have attached the words:
Just The Way You Are Lyrics
Oh, her eyes, her eyes, make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair, falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are(yeah)
Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me (okay this isn't really the vs that stood out)Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day
Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same
So, don't even bother asking if you look ok
You know I'll say
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are
The way you are, the way you are
Girl you're amazing, just the way you are
When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Yeah
This was my confirmation (and became my personal 'theme' song) that everything was going to be fine and this was all real. I finally 'got it.' HALLELUJAH!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
3.5.11 The day I surrendered whole heartedly to Christ.
The weekend of March 4th-6th, the annual Christ Community Church Women's Retreat was a weekend I had waited a year to attend. If you have never been, I highly recommend attending. You spend the weekend with amazing woman, friends, leaders and Christ! Does it get any better? This was my second year and I was really pumped about the lectures, interaction and the down time to get some scrap booking done. Do I need to tell you I didn't touch the scrap booking supplies at all the entire weekend other than to load and unload them.........twice. If I repeat some of this, I am sorry, but I started this several months ago, never finished and feel it is important. I have to say the night before the retreat, I had the strangest dream ever. All I could remember of this dream was one specific section. I shared this with the gals at work, then again with Amie in the hotel room. I was with my husband, Sean and we were attending a function of some sort. There were lots of people and he wanted to introduce me to an acquaintance/friend of his. (I can't tell you the name of this 'person' but it was someone familar to me. Thinking back as I explained this, I couldn't tell you what this person looked like or who he was) When we approached this man, I turned and said I knew him, we were old friends too. I went to hug him and he didn't hug me back. It was odd. We said hi and he asked how I was. I said fine and you? He then said..."Are you sure your fine? Are you really fine?" I was taken back at his response and woke up feeling horrible. The girls at work were also taken back saying things like "wow" that is a bit harsh. I know the dream was longer, but this was the only part I remembered and it made quite an impression. What did that mean? What did he mean by that? As a woman, I have gone up and down with my weight as most of us do at some point of in our lives. I was approaching 40 thinking I should still be physically fit and looking like I did at 18, or at least my early 20's! Insecurity was a big deal for me. I had always been active and slim. Due to a thyroid issue I had gained weight. My friends look at me and think I am a bit crazy for feeling this way but weight gain or anything like that is all relative to each person. Other things in my life were, at that time (and still are) not where I wanted them to be.
While in the hotel room that first evening, Amie and I were talking about random things. We were also talking about a book she read and also did with a Bible study, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. She had an extra book and asked it I wanted it. I accepted and started reading right away. I am going to back track here because at this time, I hadn't told her about the dream I had yet. It wasn't until I started reading Made to Crave that I would have fallen over if I wasn't already laying down. I 'freaked out' and was in disbelieve. Amie looked at me like I was crazy and asked what was going on. I started by saying this is so ironic.....(we all know it was exactly as it was supposed to be).... I started by telling her about my dream then proceeded to read her a few excerpts from the book.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Knowing what I know now it was like I was searching for food only to be smacked in the head with a chicken and not recognizing it was something I could eat. God had put all these pieces in front for me just begging me to put the pieces together. He was starring me right in the eyes and I was blind. Well not totally blind, I would just say blind in one eye.
So that was the beginning to this amazing weekend. Saturday we sat down, ready to meet the rest of the group at our table. All the woman were very different with different interest. As I sit surrounded by woman of different ages, economic backgrounds and life experiences, I found comfort that we all knew or were seeking Christ. We were all so much a like in our feelings and thoughts. It was like being surrounded by your best friends and supporters, you felt a connection that was safe and warm. You start to really get to know these woman (and yourself) through the exercises you do through the weekend. At the end of the morning session, you have lunch meet a bit more, then break for the afternoon so you can attend mini break out sessions or have free time. (This is when I was going to scrap book and was I excited about that.) During lunch you do not have to sit at your assigned table. Sometimes people sit with friends that are at other tables during this time. I really don't like to be out of my comfort zone so I sat back at my assigned table. Melanie was also assigned to the table and sat next to me. By the time Amie got back, the table was full so she sat somewhere else. I was bummed by this because I am generally a shy person if I don't know you too well. (Again, Gods plan put Melanie right smack next to me)
Melanie and I had a wonderful conversation about our families and upbringing etc. We spoke about how I was having a hard time in my faith in Christ. I believed in Jesus and God but something was keeping that little string of doubt in my head (Satan) from completely giving myself to Christ. I couldn't figure out why because it was something that I wanted so badly but it was hard for me. We spoke of the Fullmer family, Amie and her guidance, my dream and the Made to Crave quote. There were also some Bible passages from the morning that all fit into this puzzle. As Melanie and I spoke she suggested I pray about this during the break. On the way up to the room at the start of the afternoon break, I told Amie about my conversation with Melanie. We stopped and prayed in the prayer room then headed to our hotel room.
While in the hotel room that first evening, Amie and I were talking about random things. We were also talking about a book she read and also did with a Bible study, Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. She had an extra book and asked it I wanted it. I accepted and started reading right away. I am going to back track here because at this time, I hadn't told her about the dream I had yet. It wasn't until I started reading Made to Crave that I would have fallen over if I wasn't already laying down. I 'freaked out' and was in disbelieve. Amie looked at me like I was crazy and asked what was going on. I started by saying this is so ironic.....(we all know it was exactly as it was supposed to be).... I started by telling her about my dream then proceeded to read her a few excerpts from the book.
..."I started this journey weighing 167 pounds." (That was about the same weight that I was) ...."Maybe because I was knocking on the door of my fortieth birthday..." "To others 167 is a dream weight. In my case, the number itself was not the issue. The issue was how I felt mentally, spiritually, and physically. It was time to be honest with myself. I think we all get to a place sometime in our lives when we have to give a brutally hones answer to the questions, "How am I doing?"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Knowing what I know now it was like I was searching for food only to be smacked in the head with a chicken and not recognizing it was something I could eat. God had put all these pieces in front for me just begging me to put the pieces together. He was starring me right in the eyes and I was blind. Well not totally blind, I would just say blind in one eye.
So that was the beginning to this amazing weekend. Saturday we sat down, ready to meet the rest of the group at our table. All the woman were very different with different interest. As I sit surrounded by woman of different ages, economic backgrounds and life experiences, I found comfort that we all knew or were seeking Christ. We were all so much a like in our feelings and thoughts. It was like being surrounded by your best friends and supporters, you felt a connection that was safe and warm. You start to really get to know these woman (and yourself) through the exercises you do through the weekend. At the end of the morning session, you have lunch meet a bit more, then break for the afternoon so you can attend mini break out sessions or have free time. (This is when I was going to scrap book and was I excited about that.) During lunch you do not have to sit at your assigned table. Sometimes people sit with friends that are at other tables during this time. I really don't like to be out of my comfort zone so I sat back at my assigned table. Melanie was also assigned to the table and sat next to me. By the time Amie got back, the table was full so she sat somewhere else. I was bummed by this because I am generally a shy person if I don't know you too well. (Again, Gods plan put Melanie right smack next to me)
Melanie and I had a wonderful conversation about our families and upbringing etc. We spoke about how I was having a hard time in my faith in Christ. I believed in Jesus and God but something was keeping that little string of doubt in my head (Satan) from completely giving myself to Christ. I couldn't figure out why because it was something that I wanted so badly but it was hard for me. We spoke of the Fullmer family, Amie and her guidance, my dream and the Made to Crave quote. There were also some Bible passages from the morning that all fit into this puzzle. As Melanie and I spoke she suggested I pray about this during the break. On the way up to the room at the start of the afternoon break, I told Amie about my conversation with Melanie. We stopped and prayed in the prayer room then headed to our hotel room.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wrong is wrong
I was driving to work this morning and got to thinking about my next door neighbor. (we don't get along) He did something that he shouldn't have. His reasons are probably valid (I haven't spoken to him so I really don't know for sure) and I would have to say I agree what I think his reasons where however we can not take matters into our own hands to "fix" things without following the proper route or chain of command. I am not even sure why he doesn't like me and I would like to say I don't care, but it does bother me a bit. He doesn't even know me. I am not too worried because I can't change the way he thinks about me but I am sure he feels that I (or my husband) did something he felt was wrong.
A friend told me that in God's eyes a sin is sin. My sin is not larger or smaller than your sin or vice versa. I think we, as humans, sometimes do things at are wrong but try to justify that it is "just a little wrong." Its not like we are harming someone by the 'little wrong. Come on - no one was injured or shot....In God's eyes a sin is a sin period. Once I thought about that my heart sank. I was judging someone else on how I thought that person's sins compare to mine and how mine were justifiable and that other person was completely wrong...not very Christ like is it?
John 9:41) 41 Jesus said to them, "“If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you say, ‘We see.’ Therefore your sin remains."
Hmmm It is hard seeing more clearly than ever. I see! I am thankful I see and I am glad I see but it sure is hard. :) I wouldn't trade being blind to His word for anything.
Tomorrow........more on the beginning!
A friend told me that in God's eyes a sin is sin. My sin is not larger or smaller than your sin or vice versa. I think we, as humans, sometimes do things at are wrong but try to justify that it is "just a little wrong." Its not like we are harming someone by the 'little wrong. Come on - no one was injured or shot....In God's eyes a sin is a sin period. Once I thought about that my heart sank. I was judging someone else on how I thought that person's sins compare to mine and how mine were justifiable and that other person was completely wrong...not very Christ like is it?
John 9:41) 41 Jesus said to them, "“If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now you say, ‘We see.’ Therefore your sin remains."
Hmmm It is hard seeing more clearly than ever. I see! I am thankful I see and I am glad I see but it sure is hard. :) I wouldn't trade being blind to His word for anything.
Tomorrow........more on the beginning!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Welcome back....
I haven't been blogging for quite some time, but want to get back into the routine at least once a week. My journey has not ended, indeed it has continued on a slow and steady path. I received a devotional book from a dear friend that I continue to read daily. I have a couple of friend that read it with me, then we discuss how it pertains to our lives. I know I need to take more steps to become connected to a strong support group/church. (I have great support now, but you can never have too many people to help guide and open your heart, mind and soul to the Lord.) I am able to blog from my phone now, so no excuses that I can't get to a computer. I need to check it first to make sure it works. :) Hope you enjoy and I will be writing more soon.....
Monday, April 4, 2011
Interesting article
My chapter, in school, was about immigration and religion. One of my assignments was to review an article and right about whether or not I thought The Bible and science would always contradict each other and if people would always debate these two topics. I have attached the article I had to read and I have attached another that I found. They are both very interesting. I hope you enjoy them.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/editorials/2007-02-04-oplede_x.htm
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/questionofgod/voices/collins.html
I still find it amazing how many other people can have similar thought or have gone through a process to surrender to God. We are all so much more alike than I think the world wants to admit. (no matter what religion)
Let me know what you think.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/editorials/2007-02-04-oplede_x.htm
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/questionofgod/voices/collins.html
I still find it amazing how many other people can have similar thought or have gone through a process to surrender to God. We are all so much more alike than I think the world wants to admit. (no matter what religion)
Let me know what you think.
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